This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize