vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize