I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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