Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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