I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I love having hate sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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