I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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