first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
