just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
