I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
