why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
