Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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