just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
