sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
