before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
