Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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