i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
