I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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