i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
