put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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