Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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