Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
