Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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