i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
