found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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