True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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