she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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