This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
