either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
