He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
