I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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