Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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