I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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