You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
