take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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