Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
