hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
