I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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