Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
