we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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