I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
me + whiskey = a bad person
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
