We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize