And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
