My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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