addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
