Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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