im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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