You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
