Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
