I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
