We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
