Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
