Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
