Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
