Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
