what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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