i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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