Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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