Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
